Big is Moving to Paris

Whether you’ve watched Sex and the City or not, we all know the trope: Carrie’s friends are offering something wise or funny or deeply important—and all she can do is spiral over the same boy, again. Maybe you’ve had friends like Carrie. Or, if you’re anything like me, you’ve had that sinking realization: oh God… I am Carrie.

I’ve always been the open-book, oversharing type. Every class crush, every potential date-party date, every screenshot-worthy text—I dissected it like a YouTube conspiracy theorist my friends never actually subscribed to. Eventually, it was my best friend Chloe who said what everyone else had been too polite to: “Next time you want to talk about a boy,” she said gently, “just call me—no need to put the whole group through it.”

And just like that, it hit me. I was the Carrie of the friend group. And honestly? It was kind of mortifying.

But why? Why is it so shameful to talk about boys with your friends? Isn’t that what friends are for?

To a degree, yes. But it’s a double-edged sword and there’s a fine line between sharing your life and accidentally turning your friends into a captive audience for it.

What I’ve learned (and what I am still practicing) is this: timing and reciprocity matter. Before launching into a monologue about someone’s iMessage response time—or whatever your friend’s friend’s roommate heard about their last situationship—it helps to pause and ask: is this the right moment? Have I asked about their day? Do they even want to dissect a three-word text right now? Friendship is a delicate balance of listening and speaking; it’s about knowing when to talk, what really needs to be said, and when it’s better to just ask. 

And even if you’re not the Carrie, but you’ve got a friend who is—give her grace. Listen, laugh with her, let her ignore your advice and figure it out on her own. But when every conversation suddenly turns into a rerun about Big moving to Paris? Be a Chloe. Call her out—gently. Trust me, she’ll thank you later.